And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
