I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
