and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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