Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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