I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
