Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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