There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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