It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
