If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
