Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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