She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
