i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
