no, he came in my armpit
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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