I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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