Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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