I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
nutella sex= disaster
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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