Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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