is your mom at the bar?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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