i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
