i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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