I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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