quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
