I'm lost and stupid without you.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
