So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize