Can i not drive my cunt home
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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