can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
