I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
