There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
should my penis look like a turkey
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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