you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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