planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
