i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize