Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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