Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
