He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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