okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
