At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize