I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
