i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
