we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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