i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
