On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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