Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
