I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
