youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
