I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
