areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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