have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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