to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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