i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
