I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
