First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
