You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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