he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize