Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize