i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize