The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
