DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
