This girl is more easily done than said...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
