i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Never let your siblings swipe right.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
