You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize