I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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