I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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