Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
