She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
