your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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