Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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