then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
