wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize