I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My vagina is officially offended.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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