I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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