I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
