No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
