I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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