You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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