If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
