im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize